My computer at home has developed a complete anarchist attitude toward me. It has rejected system, organization, and uniformity and now gives me the raspberry whenever I click on the Internet icon. I'm surrepticiously typing this at work...why, yes, of course I'm working on that report for the state. I'm just having some problems with the wording in paragraph three. Whatever.

What does the word "twice" mean to you? See, I always assumed that it meant two times. Well, apparently not as explained to me by the helpful staff of our aging services division at the state level. I guess I should explain my job a bit. I'm a planner at an area agency on aging. We grant federal/state dollars to projects that provide services to people 60 and older. Services like meals, transportation, housekeeping, legal services, etc. Everything is federally mandated under the Older American's Act and we oversee the projects that provide these services. Anyway, one service that we have tried to get a grantee for is health promotions. We have put out a request for proposal twice as specified by our state policy. Or, at least, I thought we had done this twice, as I was going by the old definition of twice meaning two times. Apparently, and you guys might want to change your dictionaries, twice really means three times. Glad I could make this clarification for everyone.

What's really horrible is that we just received a memo from the state informing us of how much money we will be receiving for fiscal year 2004, which starts October 1st. Because of budget shortfalls, we had been told to expect a "bit" of a cut in dollars. Well, grab your dictionaries again, because "bit" actually means...

Sixty-five percent.

That's right, a 65% cut in funding. As one public official so eloquently stated in our newspaper, it's time that seniors stop being so "selfish" and realize that funding needs to go to their grandchildren for their schools. Since when it is "selfish" for impoverished seniors to hope for one nutritious meal five times a week, or a little transportation help in getting to needed doctor's appointments? When I personally know of elderly persons that literally have to make the decision between food and needed prescription medications, please don't talk to me about selfish. Maybe selfish also has a new definition of which I'm unaware.

Since it's been awhile, this is going to be a truly random entry. Okay, bitching about the job is over (and if anyone has any ideas on career changes, I'm all ears) and now we're moving on to lies adults tell you. For my socially-depraved kids out there, listen up. These are NOT the best years of your life as the adults will try to tell you. The teenager years are horrific and no amount of money, fame, etc. would ever make me go back, and no other adult for that matter. Know why? Because, even though I have to work a job that I don't always like and have to struggle to pay bills, I still get to make EVERY SINGLE decision all by my little lonesome. Even bad ones that no one agrees with. And don't misunderstand, I've made some brilliant fuck-ups...from telling a former boss "I don't need this job," to totally maxing out my credit card. However, and this is the beauty part, every single one of them was MINE! It's my decision to make poor spending choices...it's my decision to work where I want...it's my decision to waste my Sunday nights watching my pseudo-celebrity boyfriend, Rocco, make an ass out of himself on television (he's a jerk, but cute...besides, it's a Mark Burnett show...Rocco will turn it around). All mine...no interloping parents telling me I'm wasting my time, and certainly no adults telling me these are the best years of my life.

Remember this entry where I talked about joining Weight Watchers. Well, I attended my first meeting June 1st. I've followed the plan faithfully and have increased my intake of water and exercise. I also have not missed one meeting and weigh-in every Sunday. So, after all this hard work, what have I gotten? What was my weight loss as of last Sunday?

Drum roll please....

Twenty-six pounds gone!! See, I had you set up like it was going to be bad news.

The great thing is, my new apartment doesn't have a kitchen, so I'm still doing most of my eating out. But, by watching the portions and stuff, I'm doing great. Plus, I haven't had to give up my all-time favorite food, McDonalds Egg McMuffins. The absolute perfect food and only seven points, unlike those evil Sonic breakfast burritos at eighteen points.

Speaking of eating, I decided to get out of the office for a change and had lunch at Chili's. I watched as people walked up to the bar (at 1:00 in the afternoon) and the bartender greeted them by name and brought out their drinks without having to be told what they wanted.

Okay, here's a new definition for everyone....

Pathetic life existence...being an afternoon regular at the bar in Chili's restaurant.

Okay, time for me to go back to work. Geez, after reading over this entry, maybe my home computer knows what it's doing by denying my access to the Internet.