Dear Mr. Spider,

I've seen you on the nature shows that expound your worth in the natural order of things. I've learned that, not only are your webs things of beauty as the sun hits the dewdrops causing miniature rainbows, but they are one of the strongest substances known in nature. You trap the most unwelcome guests to an outdoor barbeque...mosquitoes, flies, etc. You are considered a friend of nature.

Until you cross the threshold of my front door.

Then you become the enemy that must be destroyed. Although somewhat overweight and terribly clumsy, I'm a determined hunter. Your webs lose their beauty under the harshness of indoor lighting and, especially, when I walk into the middle of one. I am armed with my chemical weapons of mass destruction courtesy of the Raid corporation. This is all out war.

I'm not kidding.

Warmest regards,

randommuse