Since most books recommend that, instead of bitching about your life, you should take action, I've followed the advice of a particular job-hunter's guide and put together a list of my "skills" and the jobs I feel would match said skills.

Total klutz; ability to trip over my own feet at the most inopportune times

Sidekick to the Hollywood hero

Ability to look one in the eye and lie without a twinge of guilt

Publicist for any major celebrity

Absolute love of money without the love of actually working for it

Member of the British Royal Family

Entertainment trivia queen with no math skills to speak of

Contributing writer for Entertainment Weekly

Obsessive hatred of the outdoors

Eccentric shut-in

Hmmmm, where to apply first.....