I have a geriatric computer.

It's an old Packard Bell "something or other" that was top of the line back in its time. Unfortunately, "its time" was early 90's.

I turn on the computer to boot up so I can play on the 'net. Since I know this is going to take a while, I go get something to eat.

Twenty minutes later....

Me: "You're still not booted up!?"

Computer: "Look, you're the one that insists on a background and icons. These things take time. Just take out the trash and I promise I'll be booted up by the time you get back."

I'm jealous of all of you with instant messaging. I want to IM all of my friends, too. I've tried to download, but...

Me: "I want to download this IM software."

Computer: "Okie-dokie. It's going to take me about seven days. Ready?"

Me: "Wellll, can I do other things while you're downloading?"

Computer: "If, by 'other things,' you mean 'stuff on the computer', that would be 'no.' I have to really concentrate when I'm downloading. Plus, you might notice the lights in the house start to dim. Is that a problem?"

Me: "Why don't we try this another time?"

Computer: "Okie-dokie."

I reread this entry and realized (as I'm sure you noticed right away) that it pretty much dealt only with my conversations with an inanimate object.

That's really scraping the bottom of the proverbial "diaryist" barrel, isn't it?